Hospital

After spending time in a hospital, I found myself in the children's ward. They tell you that you're not allowed to look sad here, because the kids have so much to deal with they don't need to see sad faces too. How can you not be sad? These kids don't understand what's happening to them. You'd never know that they were sick, aside from some burns, the loss of hair, and dark circles under their eyes, they smile most of the time. In fact, if it weren't for the physical signs these children would seem normal. And even though I didn't get the chance to know these children, I still feel lucky for having spent any time with them at all.  

It's amazing how kids can either drive you crazy or make you laugh. It's never middle ground with them, you're either happy or miserable. Today I had a chance to take a break, and watch my team work with their kids. Before we went to work none of us wanted to go. We all were dragging, saying things like "why don't we just leave." I didn't mind because my child wasn't there today. But as soon as the clock struck three and the kids showed up, my team was totally different. A sudden burst of energy came through the room and I was amazed. After during our meeting I told them how amazed I was. But they all just stared and said that's how it is all the time. Maybe I didn't notice because I'm usually apart of it. But today was and eye opener. What happens when you're a parent and cannot escape? There is no set time that you have the kids and you have to be happy while they are there, because they are with you 24/7. While today was easy for me I have to say good luck to the parents out there. Because I'm certainly in no rush. 

Monday

                  What happens when a child drives you so crazy that you cannot stand them anymore? You feel like a bad person, I mean this is a children something that is ideally so sweet and innocent. However, there are certain times when this precious child acts like a total ass, and all you want to do is hit them. Obviously we cannot do that, so how to deal? Just smile and get through it that's what I say. But Monday my partner child was trying my patience. She was rebellious and loud, now I know kids aren't always easy but that day I had a feeling she didn't like me almost as I didn't like her. When it came time to read she listened intently and I thought to myself finally a break. But my brief recess was interrupted when I felt something slimy and sticky roll down the side of my cheek and down my neck. What could this be? Don't worry my partner child soon informed me that she had spit on me, laughing while she said it. As I scraped the remainder of her spit from my neck she insisted that I finish the story, and that I "wasn't a very good reader." I stared at her in disbelief as she continued to whine. I shut the book and got up from the floor. She screamed at me to finish and very calmly I said, " You can read your own book." As I walked away she yelled that I wasn't her friend anymore and that she hated me. I muttered that the feeling was mutual and went to the bathroom to wash up. 

If only for this moment

                    As spring arrive it seems that the children come out in massive numbers. People drive a little slower, watchful of the kids playing in the streets. While lemonade stands are set up and mini cars are being washed. It's the time of year where everything seems a little better, where the people seems a little happier, if only for this moment. I myself feel that it is a little easier to get up for work in the early hours of the morning. The children haven't changed, my hours are the same, but the weather truly does change something in everyone. With the sun shining extra energy seems to be pouring through me, and I can tell my co-workers feel the same. I have no expectations for these feelings to last, I know that eventually my usual mindset will kick in and getting up will not be so easy. But for now it would seem that everything is a bit more peaceful, if only for this moment. 

Growing up

    Today my partner child was playing with my hair. She suddenly stopped and started crying. When I asked her why she was crying she said through her sobs " I wish I was white." What do you say to a four year old girl who hates who she is? I just told her that she was beautiful the way she was and that it doesn't matter what color you are. How sad is it that a child is already assuming the idea that being white is better or more beautiful. In a world that is supposed to be advanced and where racism is theoretically behind us, I find myself hearing more stories of African American children having some form of preconceived notion about white people, either that they are better in some way or that people of African decent are supposed to dislike white people. Whatever the case may be one thing remains true, this country and its people have a lot of growing up to do. 

Spring Break

     Returning to work after spring break was lets be honest, difficult. But a smile was quickly brought to my face at lunchtime. After pouring their milk a group of girls raised their tiny cups and shouted cheers! The teacher and I laughed, but our laughter was brought to a halt when they jumped up and started howling "spring break!" Of course we had to tell them to stop but not before the director of the preschool saw. What are these girls exposed too that would make them act like that? I didn't even know that kids knew about spring break. I have to admit it was funnier to me than serious, but at the same time the more I think about it the more disturbing it is.

Kids

                After working overtime this week I realized that the people who are close to me are convinced that I am going to have like 9 kids. I was shocked when I heard this my only response was to say "Don't you know that the world is over populated?" They all laughed and told me it was inevitable that I would have a lot of kids. I went home and thought about this, hoping for some deep routed revelation. After hours of thinking I finally came to the conclusion that they were out of their minds. For me to have 9 kids Hell would have to freeze over first. The next day when I saw my ridiculously stupid friends I asked them why they assumed I would have so many children. "Well because you work with them" was the best answer that they could come up with. A smile came across my face as I told them my brilliant revelation from the other night. " Guys, I love working with kids but nothing can compare to the very sweet and joyful moment of giving them back at the end of the day." 

               A mother asked me the other day how to explain to her daughter that mommy was not going to die just because she was bleeding. I advised that she show the girl how she would wrap her cut and then she'd see that mom was okay. The mom looked at me and said it was my period I took her into the bathroom with me and she saw the blood on the toilet paper. I did not have an answer for that. Sometimes I think that people are too open with their personal lives.

Doctor

       Some genius decided to bring in a doctor kit for the kids to play with today. Need a say more? Don't get me wrong I love the kids I work with, but after yelling " Pull your pants up" and "Don’t touch her there" all day I'm a little irritated. Playing doctor is like a bad cliché, but until you see it for yourself you cannot understand the depth of how perverted it is. But that is through the eyes of an adult; to the kids there is nothing wrong about it. They know that boys are different from girls, but they don't know why. They know that they take their clothes off at the doctors’ office so the doctor can examine them with ease. There is nothing sexual about this game to the kids it's just a game. It's the adults that make it taboo. Granted we can’t allow the kids to take of their pants and run around but freaking out and screaming doesn't help either. Kids freak out more when the adults do, so calm down and think about this from their perspective. 

Kissing

          Today a three-year-old boy tried to kiss a four-year-old girl. We as teachers laughed and said how cute they were, then immediately separated them. This is never something I thought I would have to deal with when teaching children this young. But I guess when you look at the world they grow up in it's not that surprising. Many have single parents who date, along with the movies and television programs they are allowed to watch, like Family Guy, it's no wonder that to a child they think "I'm a boy, she's a girl so I should kiss her." I'm not questioning the parents’ ability to teach their children, but I am wondering whether or not these kids are doing something wrong. I know when I was three I was probably not thinking about boys but then again who knows, I certainly don’t remember. Maybe it's not something we should label as taboo, or a bad behavior. I agree that the kids should be separated and told that this is not an appropriate thing to be doing in a classroom, but should we tell them that kissing is bad? 

Reality

             Growing up kids are always asked what they want to be when they grow up. Doctors, firemen, and veterinarians are usually the first answers shouted out. Kids have big dreams, but along the way as adults a reality slap comes. Sometimes we just are not cut out to do the things we want to do. Then after we have realized this, there are two choices that we have. The first is we can give up, walk away and change our dream. Or we can suck it up, realize that life is not easy and work at what we want to do. I feel that kids today are being taught this lesson more than ever. The world we live in today is much harder than it used to be, and I see mothers teaching their kids to be realistic and grounded rather than live in a fairy tale world. I don’t know whether this is extremely depressing or a mature decision. 

Ignorance

 The ignorance of people can sometimes amaze me. I thought at this day in age people understood that certain words or phrases were offensive to some people. It is without a shadow of a doubt shocking and unreal to see a grown man acting like an ignorant child, using offensive language directed towards a woman in front of children. I have no respect or consideration for those who choose to ignore the rights and wishes of others. The man in question made a comment that went a little something like this: " It is not my fault that these liberals are so afraid of their goddamn shadow. They want to love everyone? Well give me a break! We are not all made equal and a word is only as important as someone makes it. I'm not going to tiptoe around their feelings anymore. You want to be a liberal? Then stay the hell out of my way!" A completely grown man who apparently had no proper upbringing or common sense for that matter made this intelligent statement. If a word is offensive to some people it is offense do not use it because you really don't want to find out if the person your dealing with just happens to be a person that is okay with that word. What's surprising is that we have not had this problem at the preschool, because even children are taught not to say certain things not just to other kids but also in general. They are labeled "bad" words and the subject is put to rest. I don't know where the respect for other people was dismantled along the way but I'm hearing more and more about how its bullshit that certain people can say this word and others can't. How an African American can say the N-word but the white guy's bitching that he can't. Why would you want to say the N-word anyway if you're white? The only purpose is to hurt someone of Black heritage. I mean lets get real for a second, no matter what color you are if you use the N-word chances are people are labeling you anyway. Either as a troublemaker or an ignorant white person who's probably still saying "the South will rise again". Get over it and move on, be respectful and grow up.   

Don't waste my time

        It's amazing to me how people who volunteer their time to work with children and then turn around and would rather text then actually deal with the kids. Why do you think your time is more important than mine? Clearly I'd like to be chatting with my friends or making plans for the week, but I'm an adult and made a commitment so I'm there 100%. Don't waste my time or the kids, if you're going to be there be there and if not just get out you're not helping anyone. 

Valentine's day

What drives a person to become a parent? Recently a good friend of mine was having a conversation with her boyfriend of four years. Basically on Valentine's Day her biological clock went flying off the handle and caused her to rant and rave all night about how she cannot wait for them to get married and start a family. His reaction was, in my own opinion, priceless. He had spent all day cooking a meal for her, bought her flowers, lit candles, madethe evening very romantic. But his face which was once full of love quickly turned into that of a horror film victim when she uttered the words, "How many children do you want?" I was upstairs at the time but I swear I heard his jaw drop from all the way downstairs. He then made a quick exit while trying to explain to her that he planned on finishing school and starting a life before starting a family. As I tried to console my idiot of a friend, I wondered why do girls put themselves in situations like these? I can understand the need to have family and get married, but at nineteen shouldn't we be worried about other things? I asked my friend why she did such a dumb thing, she simply said through the sobbing that she was nineteen and wanted to be married at twentytwo and have her first child by twentyfour. I stared in disbelief, how could a woman so smart with such a bright future only think of herself as capable of being a wife and mother? Look I'm all for family, go ahead knock out a few kids, get married young, to each his own, right. But for me there is more to life than soccer practices and girlscout meetings. getting married is not on the top of my to-do list. Now don't get me wrong I love children, clearly I work with them everyday, but the days of Mrs. Cleaver and bridge games have long passed. I expect more from myself than just becoming a wife and mother. I want to build a life not be trapped into one. Maybe someday I will get married and start a family but for right now I'm content to go to coollege hangout with my friends, work and just grow up. I hope that there are other young women who feel as I do and less who feel like my friend. In my opinion there is only disappointment and regret waiting for the young women who think themselves capable of only soccer games, and PTA meetings.

Do We Dare Act Like Adults?

Feeling unappreciated is quite possibly the worst feeling in the world. Feeling left out or kept in the dark about something, which could potentially be nothing, eats away at you little by little. It crawls up your spine, inching its way closer until it gnaws at your brain like a bad high school memory. When did we start caring so much what other people say or do? The only opinion that SHOULD matter is our own. But somewhere along the way we have lost the idea of being our own person. Never have I seen this more than with the people we often say we are closest with. Everyone has their own little circles and secrets, so much so, that everyone else around them anyone who might feel out of the loop becomes crazed with suspicion. Truth be told, stop freaking out! You're probably not interesting enough for your "friends" to talk about to begin with. And let’s be honest, we could make things a lot easier on ourselves if we'd stop the secrecy. If you have a secret to tell than tell someone in private do not announce to the entire group that you have something to tell Jimmy later, because… it's a secret. And please do not speak in a different language. If you and your friends are standing around talking and you start talking to Sarah in French, chances are we already know you're telling her something you didn’t want us to know. You're not being secretive you're being dumb and making your friends paranoid. This whole thing is a vicious circle that ends up in a drama filled fight full of he said, she said talk. So let us now cut some of the drama from our life and stop acting like children. In fact the children I work with are often smarter than the average teenage girl. Their lives are simple, you took her toy she calls you out on it. She does not brush in under the rug and bottle it up inside of her so that three months from now she will have all these little things that bother come out and she can then accuse you of harassment. Face your problems confront your friends and if you have something to say, please say it to me not a therapist.

Parents

         Is anyone else tired of being yelled at or judged by irritated parents who take out their aggressions on the people who care for their children? Look I know it can be hard to leave your children with strangers, but the dirty looks and smug remarks aren't helping the situation. The teachers and staff are not going to hurt your children. They are trained professionals who love and care for your children. Just because the kids are excited when they see us or walk into the classroom doesn't mean they like us better than you their parents! It's absurd to think that, and the fact that some parents do is very sad. Parents are doing all they can to support their children most working multiple jobs. So isn't daycare a better option? Instead of being home with the kids and hurting financially isn't it better to leave them with people who can devote all of their time to teaching them and entertaining them? My problem with grumpy parents is this it is your choice to place your children in daycare and once they are there it is my job to teach them. So please don't take any resentments you may have out on the people who are there to care for your children because it just irritates us. And when we are irritated you can believe your kids are not having a good time. You're paying us for a service so please let us provide it without judgments.

Going Home

After returning from training last night I realized that the last four hours of my life had been spent playing games like apples to apples and taboo. What does this have to do with childcare? Absolutely nothing if you ask me. Though we had fun, my team and I agreed that our time would have been better spent doing just about anything else. Our managers showed no interest in teaching and most members showed no interest in learning. Now I'm all for fun, but if I am called to a mandatory seminar on a Friday night I would have hoped it would have been an actual seminar instead of a cheap hangout session. My irritation was only doubled when we tried to leave the building and found out that we were unexpectedly locked in. I was then forced to whiteness multiple attempts at getting the door open. Everything from debit cards, to jut plain kicking the door, until someone finally read a sign that said if locked in call campus security. After a brief thirty-minute wait, they finally arrived, and there was no sweeter sound to me than the words of my team leader saying, "Lets go home!" 

Training

         Tonight I'll have to attend a two-day seminar where everyone will learn about the appropriate way to deal with children. Now at first this sounds like a good idea, what could be the harm? Well this is the second seminar I've attended and is it's anything like the last one, you'd be shocked about what s considered taboo when dealing with children. For example, recently they told us that we couldn’t be alone with the children at all; there must always be an "adult" present. So according to our administrators anyone between the ages of twenty and twenty-eight are not considered adults? When I questioned this I was told that " This rule has been set so that the parents know who their child is with at all times. Also it lowers the chance of anything happening." What can I ask would happen? Before being hired for this job I had to endure a number of interviews, paperwork and background checks, trust me none of the people I work with have even the slightest blemish on their record. I understand the need to be safe, especially with children. But when did we become so afraid of our own shadow that trained employees are being treated the fifteen year-old babysitter who'd rather text than interact with the kids. It is a sad day when I cannot hold a child's hand or give them a hug without receiving a correction from a nearby spectator.  

"This is My Body"

         The preschool that I currently work with, partners each adult with a certain child. These children are usually the ones who need a little extra TLC. My partner child, today, was particularly difficult, in between shoving other children, and stealing my cell phone she stopped and shouted at me "This is my body and you cannot touch me!" I stopped and stared in complete disbelief. Of course as an adult we assume the worst, trouble at home. As I walked her back to her classroom I felt the need to tell her teacher what she had said. The teacher laughed and informed me that a guest speaker had come into each of the children's classrooms and taught them about strangers. This phrase that she so boldly shouted at me was one of the things the speaker had taught the children to say if they were ever approached or heaven forbid touched by a stranger. As the teacher continued to smile I smiled back in a polite response. As I walked back to my classroom my smile quickly faded. First let me say that I think it is fantastic we are taking the opportunity to educate our children about the real dangers of the world. But how sad is it that we must teach a four-year-old phrase like this one.

I assumed a child's life was simple, no job, easy school, and always-new things to discover. But the reality of the situation is, that most of today's children are dealing with issues that are way beyond their emotional capacity. If we took a poll of children's biggest fear and asked children fifty years ago what their biggest worry was it would probably be something trivial to adults. Like "What I'm going to wear to Sally's birthday party", or "I hope they don't serve chicken at lunch today, I don't like chicken". Things like this mean nothing to adults, in fact most adults probably miss half of what their own children say. Because at the end of the day how important can a four-year-olds issues be? If we took that same poll today we'd find a much more disturbing picture. The issues at hand today would be something like "I wonder if Daddy will come home today" or "My mommy keeps throwing up and I don't know why." Some might call attention to the fact that I'm only assuming what a child might say. This is true only for the children fifty years ago, and that's only because I wasn't alive fifty years ago. But the statements about what children today might say aren't assumptions they're quotes. Children I work with everyday, three to four year-olds, have actually said these things to me. This is not a guessing game this is a fact, and the fact is that children today grow up faster than ever before. At this rate in the next fifty years what can we expect from our children's children?